What to do when your Teenagers have Friends You Don’t Like

Life with a teenager can be very interesting. One day, you understand each other perfectly and the next, it is like you are living on two different planets. One subject that parents and teenagers have trouble agreeing on is their friends.

Parents have to tread lightly when it comes to likes and dislikes concerning your teens. Most teens go through various phases between the ages of twelve and eighteen. Hanging around with friends that you don’t approve of could be one of those phases.

Determine why you don’t approve of their friends. If the reason for disapproval surrounds their appearance or mannerisms, you may have to put up with it. If your teenager is having a hard time figuring out who they are, the chances are that someone else’s teenager is having the same trouble. Asking your son or daughter to drop a friend because of their looks sends the wrong message.

If one of their friends is disrespectful in your house, handle this situation directly with the offending teenager. This is your house and you lay the ground rules. Kindly tell the friend that he must change his tone and word usage in your home. If he agrees, then the problem is handled.

Teens often do things that they have been taught. Propping feet up on the coffee table or drinking from the juice carton may be okay at their home. Talk to your teenager’s friends with respect and tell them that you don’t allow certain things to be done in your home. The reason they didn’t do it before was because he or she just didn’t know.

If you suspect that one of your teenagers new friends is into drugs or something else that is not above board, action may be warranted. Keeping an open line of communication with your teenager should alert you to any changes in their behavior that may have prompted their new relationship with this friend. Ask your teenager if their new friend is into any risky behaviors.

Before your child can object to the question, reiterate that you are concerned about them. You can suggest that they may want to distance themselves if this new friend is doing something that could get them in trouble. If your teenager insists that nothing is going on, trust them. You have raised them to be aware of drugs, alcohol, smoking, and sex. They have all of the tools that they need. The rest is up to them.

Teenagers will have all types of friends. It is okay to be concerned if a friend doesn’t click with you. Take the time to understand the reasons why you don’t approve of the friend before jumping to conclusions.

Find family friendly product reviews, information and support from a variety of different moms from all walks of life at Moms Talk News. Join us, it’s Free!

Germs and Kids: Tips for Prevention

You’ve taken your youngest child to the park; sit her in the sandbox, only to notice she begins to eat the sand. Perhaps your child is playing in the backyard with the family dog, and starts kissing the dog on the mouth. When it comes to germs and kids, an irresistible attraction is imminent. What can you do to preventkids and germs from becoming attracted to each other?

* Teach your child to cover his or her mouth when coughing.
* Have them wash their hands frequently, especially before and after dinner, after using the bathroom, or touching animals.
* Explain to them how they can pick up germs from virtually anywhere.
* Tell them not to put any objects in their mouth, such as toys or any foreign objects they may pick up.
* Stuffed animals collect dust; use caution when children play with them.
* If your child tells you her friend has lice, be sure to check your child’s hair to determine if she has been infected.
* Place hand wipes in your child’s lunchbox, so she can wash her hands before and after lunch.
* Tell your child not to share lunch with classmates.
* Show your child that touching or putting flowers or plants in their mouths is particularly dangerous.
* Ensure that sheets and pillowcases are washed regularly.
* Vacuum and dust your child’s room at least once a week.
* Make sure your child is properly vaccinated against all diseases.

Children have a wonderful curiosity; especially when presented with something new and shiny. Whenever buying a toy or stuffed animal, read the label to determine if there are caustic or toxic chemicals. While you can’t keep your child in a germ-free bubble, you can take certain precautions to ensure their attraction to germs are limited.

Mommy and Toddler Play Groups

One of the ways in which moms continue the all important bonding with their toddlers, as well as having their child experience being with other toddlers, is through mommy and toddler play groups.

There are a number of groups which you and your toddler can join. One of which is at a library or checking your local community to as certain if they have any similar toddler play groups you can join.

In fact, you may wish to start a group of your own. You and other moms can not only bond with each other, but your toddlers will have a chance to mingle with other toddlers.

Also, there appear to be church groups and child centers who also host play groups. Check online for more information. Also, if you have moved to a new neighborhood, ask your neighbors if there are any groups in the area. This is a great way to get to know your neighbors and bond with your toddler at the same time.

You know, bonding with your toddler can also encompass a day at the park – just the two of you. The nature/nurture experience can extend beyond you and your child, as you take in the greenery, trees and flowers. In fact, you may meet other moms at the park and decide to form your own group. You can meet on a weekly basis; set up a place on the grass; and just keep the bonding flowing.

For more information about mommys and toddler play groups, check your local newspaper to see if there are any groups which you feel you would like to participate in. Mommy and toddler play groups can be formed or joined or simply begin with a few neighbors with kids of similar age.

Mom and Child Time

There is no one in this world who knows us better than mom. It is in her every touch, smile, hug, and word expressed from the time we are born. We look to mom for approval, guidance, and love. But it is those special times, when it’s just mom and child time, that we look forward to and treasure.

Whether or not you are a working mom, spending time with your child is important. It signals to your child they are important and fun to be with. From infancy, your child depends upon you for everything; and as time passes, the nurture, care and love you have given becomes their focal point. They turn to you in times of need; seek your advice in times of doubt; and look to you for comfort when sad. Spending one on one time with your child is by far a time your child looks forward to. Whether a baby, toddler, teen or adult – your child needs you. It doesn’t matter if you simply sit on a big comfy chair and talk; or read a book together; or watch a favorite fairy tale on DVD – being with mom has enormous positive effects on kids. It is just you and your child; no interruptions; no siblings to take your attention away; just your child and you.

Studies have shown the positive effects of merely caressing a baby; smiling; rocking and holding. The baby feels safe; begins to sense your aura; your smell; your voice. Being held in your arms is all that matters. As the child grows, he or she runs to you if frightened; or for no other reason than simply to get a hug, a loving word, a smile. children who are not comforted from birth become detached as they become older; feel abandoned; and more often than not seek other means to find love.

Spending time with your child is important to their growth and how they relate to others.
It is very simple really. A mother’s love is infinite. As a mom you know this to be true.
Therefore, there is no need to explain the importance of being with your child. Perhaps this poem says it all:

Just Mom and Me

There was never a time you weren’t there
Expressing your love, showing you care.
You laughed with me, cried with me, and wiped away the tears
From the moment I was born, and through the winter of my years.
Your smile gave me hope, and your touch made me know
That for all of my life
I’d have somewhere to go
To talk about the fear, the pain, and the strife
It was you, who understood,
And gave meaning to my life.
You knew what to say, and when words couldn’t come
You held me in your arms -
No more needed to be done.

Shy Toddler - How to Overcome Shyness

Shyness can be a difficult problem, especially for a child. Whether the shyness is a result of an inner problem or simply not wanting to participate in conversation, you can help yourchild overcome shyness .

If your child has an exuberant personality but tends to shy away from strangers, there really is nothing to worry about. However, if your toddler seems to have behavioral problems, becomes angry or fearful, then shyness is a cover for something more problematic.

More often than not, children are pushed into situations they are uncomfortable with; either having to kiss a stranger invited to the home; or having to seem more outgoing that he actually is can ultimately force the toddler to become more withdrawn and akin to a turtle, put his head back into the shell. In order to help your toddler overcome shyness, don’t make a point of it. Do not treat him any different than any other child. Think of your child as quiet and reserved, and refer to him that way if asked by others. There is nothing wrong with this assessment, and the manner in which you treat him will not overstate the obvious, but allow him the room he needs to find his way.

Shy children are also fearful of strangers. If you take your toddler to a friend’s home, let him bring along a blanket or a toy. It is a familiar object which, to the toddler, represents home – which he views as safe. It can also be used as a way to communicate between the toddler and the stranger. The point is not to force your child to have to say or do anything – just be. Eventually as he sees your response to strangers appear comfortable and happy, he will follow suit. Often shy children become introverted, and it takes a lot to draw them out. To this end, invite children to your home to play with your toddler. He will feel safer at home, and the children may help your toddler to open up in ways adults can’t.

Help your child overcome shyness by not doting on him, but by giving him a great deal of love and support. Do not make an issue out of his shyness, nor force him to become involved in situations which frighten or make him uncomfortable. He will find his way in time, and be able to communicate and come out of that shell. He just needs to find his niche; and once he does – all will be well. Remember, children need to progress at their own pace. While one sibling may be outgoing and friendly, another may be just the opposite. The key is not to make allowances for one; but to treat each child equally.

Recommended Reading:
Freeing Your Child from Anxiety: Powerful, Practical Solutions to Overcome Your Child's Fears, Worries, and Phobias

Kids and Online Safety - Times are Changing

Times are definitely changing and with the many discussions of kids and online safety, it can be pretty scary at times. We want to know that they’re safe, but we also want to ensure they have a sense of privacy.

A recent study conducted by Justin Patchin, Assistant Professor of Criminal Justice at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, showed 91% of the profiles viewed for users 18 and under did not include full names and 40% of youth kept their profiles private from public view.

Unfortunately, the same study showed that 5% posted pictures of themselves in bathing suits or underwear. 15% of the profiles showed friends in bathing suits or underwear.

The positive thing to take from this study is that a lot of kids are being safe and just because our kids are online, doesn’t mean that they are getting themselves into trouble or are being targeted by predators. The Internet gives our children access to many more people (and gives many more people access to our children), but most children are going to use the same logic and common sense they apply to the offline world and won’t become victims to predators.

Tips to ensure your kids are safe online:
* Keep the lines of communication open.
* Know who your children are spending time with.
* Respect their privacy - within guidelines.
* Spend time with your children.

If you think your children are spending too much time online, you can speak to them about it. Establish limits, with their input, and encourage other physical activities, spending time with friends and family members.

If you sense there truly is a problem and they may be involved in something dangerous, start a discussion about it. If you think you need to see what they’ve been doing online, go together.