Teaching Your Child to Deal with Bullies

There are always bullies in social situations – people who have to build themselves up by tearing down or beating down the people around them. Unfortunately, that will be true at any age. Whenever there is a group of kids, there is likely to be a bully amongst them. It is important that you give you child the right tools to know how to deal with bullies, today and in the future. Here is some advice to help you and your child:

1. There is no way to avoid the bullies of the world. They can be found in Sunday school classes, homeschool support groups and school classrooms. Instead of avoiding them you will have to develop ways to live or deal with them.

2. Walk away. Almost every confrontation offers the chance to just get away from the situation. It is not running – it is looking for a more appropriate time and place to deal with it. Most bullies want to be seen by many people; if you can take that away from them then you might be able to deal with the situation with fewer problems.

3. Retaliation leads to escalation. Although the television shows and the movies show that confronting a bully is the only way to win, in truth it could be the one sure way to lose. Especially in today’s society – where escalating violence is the norm – pushing someone who wants to be the “top dog” might cause an escalation in violence towards your child and towards others as well.

4. Talk to the people that are in charge when your child is being bullied. If the teachers won’t listen, then talk to the administration. If the administration won’t listen, then talk to the authorities. Bullies can be an extremely dangerous element for any environment. The people that are in charge need to be aware of the dangers involved.

5. Talk with your children. Open lines of communication make it easier for your children to come to you if there is a problem. Taking time every day to talk about their day, their thoughts and their ideas is likely to make you aware of any problems or potential problems before they can get out of hand.

6. Stay involved. By being around your children at play and at school you can recognize bully situations before they become problems. Make a point to attend birthday parties, ballgames, practices or other group events and activities.

The natural instinct for many parents is to shield their children from bullies or situations where the children might be bullied. The truth is that it is impossible to completely avoid all bullies. It is better to learn how to deal with the situations at the earliest possible age, rather than being shocked by bullies that are more aggressive and more dangerous in the future.

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