Teaching Your Child to Share

Thursday, July 3rd, 2008 at 2:37 am

“That’s mine!” you hear your toddler say as they snatch a toy away from a sibling. So, the sibling begins to play with another toy. Before long, you hear the dreaded “That’s mine!” for the fifteenth time today. It’s so hard teaching your child to share, but it is one habit that will serve them well in the future.

When children are very young they don’t understand that they don’t own everything around them. It is our responsibility as parents to teach our child this unfortunate truth, but it is for everyone’s benefit. Here are some ways to help your child learn to share:

* Explain to them that if they want to play with another’s toys they need to ask for permission first. They need to learn that they can’t just take what they want, but they need to ask first. This rule applies when you’re visiting others as well as in your own home.

* Help your child learn that they should offer an explanation why someone can’t play with a toy if they say “no”. In other words, if a visiting child wants to play with your child’s favorite doll, help them tell the other child, “No, I’m playing with it,” “It’s my favorite,” or whatever the case might be.

* If the child isn’t actively playing with a toy and still says no, teach them that they need to let the other child play with the toy. This concept of taking turns isn’t always an easy task for a toddler to learn.

* Ask your toddler how they would feel if someone else told them “no” every time they wanted to play with a toy. Bring it down to their level, but help them understand that they should treat others the way they’d like to be treated.

* If your child takes a toy from someone, don’t snatch it right back and hand it to the other child. This reinforces the idea that taking things is alright. Instead, get down on your child’s level, tell them taking toys away isn’t nice, and ask them to give the toy back. Praise them when they do return the item.

* When you’re having a play date at your home, ask your child if there are particular things they don’t want to be played with that day. If the child gives you some things that he or she is particularly fond of, put them up in a room that the other children won’t have access to. Make sure your child knows that they must then allow the other children to play with anything that is left out.

* Teach your child to respect others’ things by being respectful of their belongings. Ask for permission before you use their things, giving them the opportunity to tell you “no”, as long as they give you a reason why. Ask others in the house, or people that may visit, to also be respectful of the toddler’s belongings.

* Finally, let your child see you sharing things that are important to you. Share your clothes for your child to dress up in, share your ice cream, making sure that you use the word “share” when you tell them what you’re doing. Let them see that you share with others, too.

Teaching your child to share may not be an easy task. Begin early and be consistent with them as you guide them in learning this trait. It will make their life, and yours, much easier.

Share and Enjoy: